“Hey Sneed, just sit here for a moment. I’ve got something for you,” Colter said.
Mathew lay in the weeds, face down, with Colter perched on his back. His assailant pulled one chubby arm tightly behind him, while dangling a jar containing a large striped, hairy, spider near his watering eyes. Mathew squinted at the jar, trying to move away, as Ryan came chugging up towards them yelling, in between wheezes.
“Get the hell off him Colter,” Ryan wheezed. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m showing your brother something,” Colter said. “ The closer you come, the closer I’ll let him look.” Colter began unscrewing the jar. Mathew squealed at his brother to get back.
“Man, what do you want,” Mathew asked. “I’ve got a candy bar in my back pocket, and some snack cakes wrapped in my towel. You can have them if you like?”
“No, I don’t want anything of yours,” Colter said. “I just want you to say something for me.”
“What do you want us to say? ‘I’m a hog’s hoof.’” Mathew said. “There you go. Now let me up.”
“Let him up, he said what you wanted,” Ryan huffed.
“No,” Colter said. “I want you both to say something else for me.”
“Fine.” Mathew wheezed. “What do you want us to say.”
Both Sneeds’ peered at Colter, a bit annoyed, and slightly confused.
“Say, ‘My head hurts, my feet stink, and I swear on my own chunks, I don’t love Jesus,’” Colter said.
Mathew squealed, “We can’t say that. You know who our father is. C’mon, let me just say ‘I’m hog’s hoof.’”
Colter Wayne Hobbes
